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I Fought The Law, and the Law Won- aka "Stupid Criminal of the Week"

Discussion in 'Crimes' started by Sunburst, Nov 3, 2017.

  1. Paradise

    Paradise Media Mod

    :giggle:
     
    Mel70 likes this.
  2. Mel70

    Mel70 Bronze Member

    :wine: GLUG, GLUG! HICCUP!!! :beer:
    WATCH THIS!!! THRUSH ME! I'VE DIMB THIS BAFUR!!:dancing:OWN ONE FOOT!! WHOP WAIT! AHHH!! UGH!!! :thud::horse::pickme:GOTTA PEE!!!! RUUUHHHH ROHHHHH!! :barf: I CAN HROD MY LYUCOR! :thud:
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2019
    Paradise likes this.
  3. Mel70

    Mel70 Bronze Member

    I CAN'T HELP IT! (HONK)! CAN'T EVEN SIT DOWN AND HAVE SUNDE DINNR! COME BACK IN COUPLE HURS! (HONK) IT'S "SAUSAGE AND BISCUITS" SUNDE! (HONK) OH %E]] NO! IT'S "DWIGHT"! NO DWIGHT, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY! AND IF YOU MAKE ME GET UP YOU ARE A GUNNA BE SURRY! (HONK) THAT IS IT! :mad: (GETS UP, OPENS WINDOW AND PEGS "DWIGHT" WITH A "SALT SHAKER")! I'M CALLING YOUR MAMA "DWIGHT"!
     
    Sunburst likes this.
  4. Mel70

    Mel70 Bronze Member

    (Honk) Lmao.... we done close at 5! Caint You done reed?! (Honk) it's "Waffle Wednesday" Closed. C-L-O-Z-D! HEY Y'ALL! It's "Dwight"! "Dwight" how many times have I done warned ya?! I'm calling Your Mama right now! NO DON'T ! TOO LATE! Yes Hi "Wendy Jo Becky Sue Deena"?. "Dwight" is over here again at "Suppertime". Wha?. NO HE CAN'T HAVE ANY!
     
    GarAndMo49 and Cousin Dupree like this.
  5. Mel70

    Mel70 Bronze Member

    Looks like a "Deer" in the Headlights. Uhh Deyyyyy..
     
    GarAndMo49 and Cousin Dupree like this.
  6. Cousin Dupree

    Cousin Dupree Platinum Member

    https://wgy.iheart.com/featured/chu...oman-caught-in-hot-water-after-escaping-jail/

    A woman was busted in Ohio for heroin possession. She was in jail, but managed to escape. But, she wasn't dressed for the weather and it was below freezing out.

    About three hours later, police got a call from a senior center saying that someone in a yellow jumpsuit was sitting in their hot tub. And when police arrived, she was sitting there... in the hot tub... in her bright yellow jumpsuit.


     
    GarAndMo49, Mel70 and Paradise like this.
  7. Mel70

    Mel70 Bronze Member

    Uhhhh...DEYYYYUH!!!!! Stupid says that's stupid! Too bad there isn't "Supid Jail" She would be one of the finest Prisoners. And She wasn't even "Under the Influence" at the time. I can't even imagine. WOW!:doh::thud:
     
  8. Mel70

    Mel70 Bronze Member

    Is that "Fat Hitler"?
    He really does want to hide.
     
    Whatsnext, GarAndMo49 and Paradise like this.
  9. GarAndMo49

    GarAndMo49 Not A Sheeple

    https://www.facebook.com/50386446817/posts/101562556468368
    Polk County Sheriff's Office

    Brian of Dundee called 911 to report an armed robbery. Two unknown suspects took his money, his necklace, and his cellphone. They threw the phone on the ground, jumped into a black Ford Crown Victoria and sped away. Deputies quickly responded, along with Air and K-9.

    That’s a heck of a story, eh?

    Well, aside from the very first and very last sentence, none of that was true.

    Deputies quickly learned that the robbery never happened, and Brian confessed that he made up the story because…you’d better sitting down for this…because he didn’t want to show up for his 11:00 a.m. shift at the restaurant where he works.

    Brian was arrested and charged with Misuse of 911 and Knowingly Giving False Information to Law Enforcement.

    On the bright side, Brian didn’t have to go to his 11:00 a.m. shift at the restaurant.

    #PCSO
    #BrianOfDundee
    #TheRobberyThatNeverWas
    #WouldYouLikeFriesWithThoseCharges
    #LyinBrian
    #LyingToThePoPoIsANoNo

    [​IMG]
     
  10. Cousin Dupree

    Cousin Dupree Platinum Member


    My first thought is that he dropped his phone and thought he could get a new one if he told them it broke during a robbery.
     
  11. Mel70

    Mel70 Bronze Member

    AHAHAHAAA!!! That was a "Value Meal" of Stupidness!!!! UHH DEYYYY!!! YOU ARE IS REALS DUM BRIYAHN!
     
  12. Mel70

    Mel70 Bronze Member

    LOL! You're probably right. And uhhh... NOPE. DOPE!
     
  13. Cousin Dupree

    Cousin Dupree Platinum Member

  14. Cousin Dupree

    Cousin Dupree Platinum Member

  15. Mel70

    Mel70 Bronze Member

    I love the "Movie Clips"!!! Long live "Mc Lovin". And maybe some of these MORONS should have taken the advice "What happens in "Fight Club, Stays in Fight Club". :floorlaugh:
    I think the dumbest "Calling the Police to claim BAD quality of "Crack". YEAH...
     
    Paradise and Cousin Dupree like this.
  16. fran

    fran Administrator Staff Member

    You can't make this stuff up!!
    :floorlaugh:


    Arkansas men arrested for shooting each other while wearing bulletproof vest


    ROGERS, Ark. – Two Arkansas men face charges after allegedly shooting each other during a night of drinking while each man tried on a bulletproof vest, according to the Benton County Sheriff’s Office.


    [​IMG]



    Charles Eugene Ferris, 50, and Christopher Hicks, 36, were both arrested Sunday on charges of felony aggravated assault.

    A Benton County sheriff’s deputy took the initial report from Ferris at the hospital, where authorities say Ferris invented a story to cover for Hicks.

    Ferris said he was hired to protect an “asset,” who paid him $200 to follow him into the woods at Hobbs State Park, according to a probable cause affidavit.

    Ferris said the pair went out into the woods and met another man around 10 p.m. The man approached Ferris’ “asset” when a gunfight broke out. Ferris said he was struck six times, but also managed to return fire before driving off with the “asset,” according to the affidavit.

    Ferris said the “asset” dropped him off at his vehicle before he dumped his weapons and drove himself to Mercy Hospital.

    However, Ferris’ wife arrived at the hospital a short time later, telling investigators that her husband and Hicks shot each other while drinking on the back porch of their home on Deer Run Lane in Rogers.

    Ferris later recanted his initial story to deputies, saying he made it up to keep Hicks from getting in trouble, according to the affidavit.

    Ferris said he had been wearing the vest when he asked Hicks to shoot him with a .22-caliber semi-automatic rifle. The vest stopped the bullet, but still hurt and left a mark on his chest.

    Ferris became “pissed” because he was hurting from the shot and “unloaded the clip into Christopher’s back” after Hicks put the vest on, according to the affidavit.

    Hicks only suffered bruising from the gunshots.

    Ferris initially told his wife “he was fine” after the shooting, but complained about the pain, so she told him to go to the hospital, according to the affidavit.

    Hicks and Ferris are free on $5,000 bonds. A judge issued a no-contact order between the men.

    Both men have hearings set for May 3 in Benton County Circuit Court.

    In Arkansas, Class D felonies are punishable by up to six years in prison and a maximum fine of $10,000.

    https://wreg.com/2019/04/03/arkansa...ng-each-other-while-wearing-bulletproof-vest/


     
  17. Mel70

    Mel70 Bronze Member

    "Christopher Ferris' " Brains Day Off!!! BREAKAWAY HIT OF SPRING!!! SURE TO MAKE YOU LAUGH AND FEEL WAY SMARTERER!
     
  18. Cousin Dupree

    Cousin Dupree Platinum Member

    Is this really even a crime? Both men agreed to do it and it wasn't lethal. They took the precaution of wearing a bullet proof vest. :thinking: The "asset" story is hysterical though. (In my best Pee Wee Herman) James Bond kinda stuff.
     
  19. Paradise

    Paradise Media Mod

    Bulletproof vests aren’t really bulletproof but bullet resistant. They are a great defense when being shot but I have read where under certain circumstances people have been seriously injured. That doesn’t include the terrible bruising that may occur from the impact of the bullet
     
    GarAndMo49, Mel70, Whatsnext and 2 others like this.
  20. Sunburst

    Sunburst Bronze Member

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