Talking feelings about cold cases

[No1likeme]

It's the hardest times I've ever had to go through in my entire life to lose my daughter to the mysterious disappearance from Alemeda County CA and no one has heard anything from her or about her since then. I've had times I feel down and out. I have times I feel very hopeful that we can find her somehow. I'm only beginning this thread to ask others with missing loved ones out there what they're feeling as well because I hate feeling like I'm all alone in the emotional turmoil of a missing child after so very long and so far away from me too if she did want to come home again? I just wanted to talk it out here and maybe someone else has this going on too and will share thoughts with me soon!

 

[Kimster]

I've talked to many family members of missing loved ones and the pain never goes away. I do think it's a good idea to reach out to others who are in the same spot you are and can understand the best. I'm going to tweet your request and hope that people will join you.

 

[No1likeme]

I've talked to many family members of missing loved ones and the pain never goes away. I do think it's a good idea to reach out to others who are in the same spot you are and can understand the best. I'm going to tweet your request and hope that people will join you.

Kimster that is the nicest thing anyone has done for me in such a long time and I completely appreciate all that you do here to help others like myself!

 

[GrandmaBear]

I have someone who was killed a couple of years ago in a crime (a child), I know it is not the same but some feelings possibly are. The helplessness is one of the worst but so is the anger at the perpetrator and of course the sheer grief at the unnecessary loss of her life and future. We are still in the court process.

Not even knowing what happened has to be its own special kind of he77 and I hope you have people who help by listening at least. I can identify a little bit with the agony of not knowing what happened because the imagination can take over as can anxiety and more. While we have a perp in our case, he never came clean about the truth of what he did and I have to shut my thoughts off because I cannot handle them at times.

I am always here to listen if you ever want an ear. I do know what it is like to feel alone on an island. Most people have not went through such things, thank goodness, as I wouldn't wish it on anyone or on my worst enemy. A person I met online has actually helped me a lot, sharing it with a "stranger" one would not think would help but it is a difficult thing to discuss in our family as the pain is so raw it just brings up those feelings for each of us if we do. Another big help was a high school class mate who I was never really close friends with in high school. She reached out and I found her helpful and easy to talk to, she also had a job that enabled her to answer some questions for me. One never knows who will be that angel they need sometimes and I do my best to be that ear for others as well.

I don't know why but after it happened, I first got into politics (why???) and then into true crime. One would think that would be the last thing that would help but for some reason it does. I don't know if following a case through to justice is what it is or something like the fact that I feel I am helping (even though I am just sitting on a keyboard) and it helps me feel as though I am doing something when I can't do anything to change our case, bring her back or help to find someone. It is heartbreaking but it does absorb some of my attention by praying for and hoping to help others.

I hope you find your daughter and I hope I worded things right here. In no way do I mean I know what you are going through as I don't, I am simply reaching out. I may be able to identify with some of it although the situations are different, and I sure can listen.

 

[No1likeme]

I have someone who was killed a couple of years ago in a crime (a child), I know it is not the same but some feelings possibly are. The helplessness is one of the worst but so is the anger at the perpetrator and of course the sheer grief at the unnecessary loss of her life and future. We are still in the court process.

Not even knowing what happened has to be its own special kind of he77 and I hope you have people who help by listening at least. I can identify a little bit with the agony of not knowing what happened because the imagination can take over as can anxiety and more. While we have a perp in our case, he never came clean about the truth of what he did and I have to shut my thoughts off because I cannot handle them at times.

I am always here to listen if you ever want an ear. I do know what it is like to feel alone on an island. Most people have not went through such things, thank goodness, as I wouldn't wish it on anyone or on my worst enemy. A person I met online has actually helped me a lot, sharing it with a "stranger" one would not think would help but it is a difficult thing to discuss in our family as the pain is so raw it just brings up those feelings for each of us if we do. Another big help was a high school class mate who I was never really close friends with in high school. She reached out and I found her helpful and easy to talk to, she also had a job that enabled her to answer some questions for me. One never knows who will be that angel they need sometimes and I do my best to be that ear for others as well.

I don't know why but after it happened, I first got into politics (why???) and then into true crime. One would think that would be the last thing that would help but for some reason it does. I don't know if following a case through to justice is what it is or something like the fact that I feel I am helping (even though I am just sitting on a keyboard) and it helps me feel as though I am doing something when I can't do anything to change our case, bring her back or help to find someone. It is heartbreaking but it does absorb some of my attention by praying for and hoping to help others.

I hope you find your daughter and I hope I worded things right here. In no way do I mean I know what you are going through as I don't, I am simply reaching out. I may be able to identify with some of it although the situations are different, and I sure can listen.

Thank you for all your kind words and I appreciate your willingness to lend me an ear when I find I have the need to talk about this with someone. Much love and hugs from me to you *big ones at that*
EVERYONE ON CW ARE THE MOST AWESOME PEOPLE I'VE HAD THE GOOD GRACES TO KEEP CONTACT WITH! GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!

 

[No1likeme]

I can truly say that the worst thing about her being gone and no one knows where she is, is that I can't get the peace of mind I really need most! Someone out there somewhere does know something about her whereabouts but won't come forward with the information that my family and I need now! That really hurts my heart badly

 

[Skitt]

I am always willing to listen to you ladies. I can’t offer much more than support, hugs, and lots of prayers. In different ways, many of us have been through situations that make the “what happened“ or “what if” just go round and round in our heads. It is so much better when we are able to talk about it than hold it in.

I wish it was possible to make it easier for you.

 

[GrandmaBear]

I can truly say that the worst thing about her being gone and no one knows where she is, is that I can't get the peace of mind I really need most! Someone out there somewhere does know something about her whereabouts but won't come forward with the information that my family and I need now! That really hurts my heart badly

I pray that person or persons come forward for you. I don't believe much in closure but there can't be any resolution or peace of mind, which I don't see the same as closure, I imagine when you don't know and that has to be terribly, horribly hard. I, as Skitt said, wish it was possible to make it easier. People should not have to go through such things! Know that you are in my prayers as is your daughter and loved ones.

 

[No1likeme]

I pray that person or persons come forward for you. I don't believe much in closure but there can't be any resolution or peace of mind, which I don't see the same as closure, I imagine when you don't know and that has to be terribly, horribly hard. I, as Skitt said, wish it was possible to make it easier. People should not have to go through such things! Know that you are in my prayers as is your daughter and loved ones.

I truly appreciate the offer of prayers bc my faith is all that got me through this crisis honestly! May God bless you with all your needs and even some of your wants in life!

 

[GrandmaBear]

I truly appreciate the offer of prayers bc my faith is all that got me through this crisis honestly! May God bless you with all your needs and even some of your wants in life!

You as well. It is also my faith that gets me through. My God give you your answers and bring her home to you.

 

[No1likeme]

You as well. It is also my faith that gets me through. My God give you your answers and bring her home to you.

I'm not sure how I would react to seeing her again after all this time really. Would I hug her or beat her tail for going away like that bc it was what she wanted so much and she left at a time I was unable to stop her from leaving for California to never be seen or heard from again by anyone else in our family or friends

 

[No1likeme]

I am always willing to listen to you ladies. I can’t offer much more than support, hugs, and lots of prayers. In different ways, many of us have been through situations that make the “what happened“ or “what if” just go round and round in our heads. It is so much better when we are able to talk about it than hold it in.

I wish it was possible to make it easier for you.

Thank you but I've been dealing with her being gone for a very long time now and I do the best I possibly can to get through the days every day and I admit there's many times I cried myself to sleep at night wondering if she had a good place to lay her head down to sleep or if she had enough to eat that day so honestly I hurt deeply for my little girl #comehomesamplz

 

[No1likeme]

Okay guys I have to make something clear about the relationship between me and my daughter. Samantha was always my best friend as she grew up with me and her step dad. We had a very loving and caring home for both of the kids. We encouraged them to grow into the person they knew they could be as adults but tried to keep them from growing up too fast as well. Sam was always an ADHD child and I had some tough times raising her alone when my 2nd husband decided he wanted to leave the family behind to move to Vermont and marryanother woman there and unfortunately only got in touch with any of us twice in nearly 20 years. So all in all I'd say we are a great success story of a single mom with 2 kids. Some more facts about Samantha's life are that she was pregnant at the age of 22 and delivered a baby boy. She named him Jaden Anthony. Anthony is her brother's name also. When she had him unfortunately she had an addition to crack therefore the child was born blind in one eye and was placed with a family who took the greatest care of Jaden and his vision is fully recovered now and he has no developmental delays to keep him back in his education. Sam had a cheerful personality normally. She also had a mean temper as well (kinda like her mom when upset enough) haha JK y'all! She was always the kind of person who was the one who has the leadership skills to get others to do the things she did (sometimes it wasn't a good thing either) but she usually was a happy girl with the outgoing personality that runs in our family! I've enjoyed telling you about more of her life that wasn't the negative image her case files project for her. She has always been a brilliant and smart kid and had the street smarts too. #mybabysstory1
To be continued next post...

 

[No1likeme]

Sam left home at the age of 17 to move to California to try to make more money than she was in NC. She kept in touch with me normally from day to day with the occasional few days missed. She said she was happy with her life there and she had everyone convinced she really was. She laughed when we spoke and told me everything she could think of about California and her life there as well. Unfortunately I didn't hear from her again after the 27th of April 2012. My most favorite memories of her are when she was about 10 years old and she wanted to hold her little brother and told me that he was the only thing she loved (lol I knew what she meant back then) she didn't want anyone else to love him. She was never great at voicing her thoughts just right. Truthfully I'm biased of course since she is my child, but I also know how much she loved her family and friends too just please remember that just because a person was involved in some things that weren't the best situations for them doesn't mean they were bad people, just really misguided about the things they should have been doing (the way Sam was)