She's a child. Maybe she has daddy issues. Maybe she thinks an older man will take care of her. She obviously ran wild from all outside observations. Structure and guidance? I'm baffled.
As an adult, I once dated a guy that was 16 years older than me. I was going through a really difficult period and I think he must have appeared to be something of an anchor. That phase didn't last long, lol.
I have a friend married to a much older guy. Let's say 20 years difference. While they actually have a really good marriage, she will tell you he's her security blanket. She's a very successful professional with pain and trauma in her past. He literally saved her life.
This is why it's so easy for dirty old men to prey on teenage girls. Ugh.
There are or were in one case two marriages in my family where the man is 20 years older than the female. NEITHER started however with a minor female. One was 18 and it was a very long time ago, the marriage, and a different time. The other I'd say was in her 20s when they started dating. In both cases, it is when they all get older and say the man is 60, 70, 80 when the hardest times in the marriage usually come. Wife often has to turn into a caretaker, etc., hub doesn't want to do anything or can't, and woman is still in her "prime" and not ready to turn towards the ending or golden years.. They still worked and so on when the respective men retired, and for a number of years. One is going through this now... He can't travel much any longer, walk well, all sorts of things, and they used to do a lot of travel.
None of that is really relevant here but I would say there's feeling of security maybe (even though this guy cannot provide that and is a creep with a record, etc..), it is an older man, and she has nowhere to go nor any way to leave her parents if she wants to...
I dated a couple of older men as well, one in particular I guess I'd say was more so older, more than likely 10 years. I was NOT interested but don't ask me what it was, he pursued me a couple of times, not really pursued, more like I encountered him, and for some reason I gave in, still not interested but went on a date or two and something changed and I felt myself falling for him, do not ask me why. He was a player actually and then for him it was the thrill of the chase and I actually ended up with a broken heart pretty quickly. Anyhow, we ended up remaining friends in the long run.
I'd have to say he did have a way of making me feel cared for, and secure, LIKE a father. He was also FUN though. I doubt that's the case here either. I did not have a daddy complex, I had a good dad who was very present in my life, and I could turn to him for anything. My folks were married and right there for me so it was nothing like an absent dad or parents. I didn't need an older man for that reason or any such reason. I did find a lot of the younger ones or ones my age pretty immature, that I think maybe plays in with people sometimes.... This here though is different I think.
In this case, I wouldn't exactly call it grooming but I'd say there is an element of something like that here, he has the upper adult hand, that's why it is statutory rape and enticing a minor, etc. He probably has the control and of course being older is an "authority" figure. However, it can't be ignored she seems to want to be with him but then again, she's a child and doesn't think as an adult would AND now is PG.
He's also now forbidden which likely makes him more attractive to her...?
I never want to judge a victim, however, as stated she does sound like she herself is a handful... And many a 16 year old thinks they know it all and should be able to decide things for themselves when they don't even know how to support themselves.
He though sounds as immature as they come, and a criminal to boot... I thought they'd have her/have found them by now.
Back to the two marriages in my family. Both men were solid, as you say about your friend, there I think was an element of security there. Neither was anything like this guy. They were hard working, law abiding, financially secure or at least very stable that way. In both cases, the female is the family member of mine. In one case, they will tell you love came after and it was a marriage of convenience for both at first so to speak. One needed help with his kids, she wanted to be out on her own, not living with her parents. She wasn't, I mean she was in a room or apartment and working when she met him, but it wasn't easy. So he offered that, and she took care of his kids. BOTH again were totally of legal age and never knew each other prior to that.
I'd say this story is a lot different and this man actually preys on minors. And he likely finds minors who want an "out" and have serious weaknesses that can be exploited. My best guess anyhow...
I had the thought they'd go somewhere and get married actually... They'd have to hope nothing was looked up nationwide. I started to look for states the other day where you could marry younger than 18 and was on one where they can if pregnant, both agree, and some other things. It was unclear if the minor would still need parental permission, I read it a couple of times and wasn't absolutely sure... I can just see it, that they'd do that to protect him and to keep both together, with the baby. Eyeroll that she would think he's a good catch or this is a good idea... I mean she knew of, they both did, the statutory law of WI vs Arkansas... Re sex. Now she's pregnant and it would not surprise me either if they know the marriage law of different states... Just a thought that crossed my mind... Of course, they are being looked for so their changes of getting married and not being caught out then are slim probably... They'd have to provide ID, etc...
I really thought they'd have them by now.
HIs being thrown in prison may halt it but that will be the only thing I'd say. She now is going to share a child with him whether they are together or not. He will never be out of their lives at least on some level, unless of course he simply bails on the child and her at some point. My point is she now has made a long term, neverending, permanent "mistake". I don't mean to call any child a mistake, I hope all mean that is not how I mean it. Her parents have until she is 18 at least left before there probably is going to be any relief here and even then, they are going to have a grandchild whose father is still this man...
I don't envy them...
Not coffeed yet. So maybe not entirely cohesive thoughts lol.
www.wsaz.com
