But this is as it should be. WE shouldn't have all the info before trial. Her dad needs to understand that for the sake of his daughter.
I don't entirely agree with this. At all. No, they don't have to share everything BUT secrecy and sealing is BS. And something has changed as it is rampant these days with no legit reasons.
It also lets the defense go nuts and do a total PR case while prosecution stays silent while people and the jury pool get entirely contaminated.
It isn't nearly as big but it is to is--our case about killed us while we watched the perp etc. tell a false story. I will NEVER forget the day when we all were about destroyed and falling apart and even told not to share with others in our own fam that was told they had an arrest and could share only WHEN the presser hit the next day. At around like 5 a.m. or such. I waited. I refreshed. And the MINUTE I saw it I let the news loose at that time I was on FB. And OMG everyone in our community because we had to be hush and they thought it was long not a murder and past was like WHAT???? WHATTTT??? ANd his family and he had had MONTHS of talking and telling their BS where WE were to stay quiet and NOT even tell all of our own family.
All I can say is I understand it but don't entirely agree with it. It's almost inhuman to expect it for one and they need to change it to get with the times. In Delphi and Read this practice allows one side, the defense imo, to put out a totally false narrative. WE KNEW MORE and could have corrected but were advised not to and who wants to ruin justice for their own loved one?
Or worry that THEY did so?
Our family about imploded over those months. It is why I understand Dylan Rounds' mom and others. Just try being in that situatiion while who you know did it and family runs around free and saying this and that.
I have criticized dad here and Dylan's mom at times but I GET IT. The system and prosecutors etc. need to get it. They aren't or grief counselors and have a job to do but they need to realize families can lose it when not handled or told justice will come and hang in there. I HAD TO MAKE contact myself. I could see the sh*t small community going on with b.s. on FB constantly this was over, wasn't a murder, etc. while they schmoozed common friends and so forth. I about lost it many a time. Once I made contact I had weekly contact with a detective. My daughter of course was in her own grief. Our entire family was. I had a sister that got in her own contact at one point and had a second detective who argued with me hers told her this where "mine" told me this for a heck of a lot longer than her one contact. Not sure I am making any sense here but my family was ALL on the same page but when someone murders someone in your family and you are told to stifle, I can only say you have to live it. I've been through the loss of a dad, two brothers and a grandchild and I won't even go into the number of aunts and uncles, cousins, so forth. And I didn't think ANYTHING could be worse than my dad and brothers BUT murder is. It is so different. And justice. You are NOT allowed to grieve.
I know I am on a vent. But I am just saying it should not be LE's job but someone needs to handle families and the grief. I won't get into victim advocates in counties. WE had one and love her but you don't get that UNTIL the perp is charged and even then well... the detective I had contact with kept me sane and spent an hour and sometimes hours a week doing so.
Once charged it went to talking to her victim advocate and the prosecutor. And no longer the detective who I did not talk to again until trial... First time I ever saw him in person as well.
The system needs things and those doing their jobs need to understand families. Like Kaylee's dad. Like Dylan Rounds' mom. People do not live this every day and then have a murder in their family. I'm serious. Try living it.
I slipped. I wanted so bad, my family did, sisters did at times to go back on FB with his family's b.s. or his and every time I lived in fear I would ruin the case or investigation. THIS is what victims' families live. I cannot even IMAGINE all the years and silence of anything important the families in Delphi have lived.
I get the reason and I get it all but I think it needs to change. In our case a big one was he would still willingly talk to LE and was not lawyered up. They also wisely did not push it or seek him out much over that time. However as the victim's family? I'm sorry but I can't even begin to tell you what it does and THEN you are told not to share with your family either. I was finally okayed to tell my mom. This isn't a demand but a recommendation. And I had to tell her not to share with other family, friends, etc. It just is AWFUL.
The night they finally got the autopsy results and arrested him I got a call and it was "this is the call you have been waiting for"... My daughter knew of course, first. I was told I could le my mom know. OMG she so needed it as I did. And to wait early more when press release went up and then I was told I could FB it!
It just needs to change is all I can say. I know I have went on a tangent here and sidetracked. I've lived that struggle. My family has. I get Kaylee's dad. And this is a case already that is huge, national with bigger b.s. going on. I can identify. The system needs to get the families and what they are forced to deal with. But you know what? It should not be the investigator's or sheriff's job imo to hand hold the victim's families either. They need to arrest and solve the case. But family members also need to know about and reach such. What kept me from losing it was that detective. Week after week for months. He could not share all but he did enough. I'm sure most can imagine me--I asked him a kazillion questions each week and I was told I could share with my mom plenty much only. So you can imagine my other sisters and such not knowing such. Not because lol they were bad but to keep us all from leaking or talking to people etc. The more shared with the more likely someone would share with someone or too many etc.
I entirely forget my point except I guess to say I get Kaylee's dad. And Dylan's mom. I also admonish them in don't say this, you don't want to wreck justice for your child. I will tell you though it is almost impossible and expecting too much.
Back to your post of how her dad needs to understand for his daughter's sake--believe me he does and has been told. While they watch the other side sell or push a narrative that drives them crazy and I'd say they haven't fully grieved and can't yet.
I'm not a fan of our system or my own county but I will say the team in ours I have not a bad word to say about BUT we also had to seek it and so much more.
LOOK at what defenses are doing these days with leaking and the internet while prosecutions keep the cases close to vest. We went through that. My GOD her murderer was some stellar gy and he and his family went on showing such. While we had to stay SILENT. It needs to change.
Okay I AM AWARE of my longwinded diatribe. I just would not wish it on anyone and I bet myself up anytime I lost it a bit which I did once or twice, just a little and then panicked that I destroyed the case. My family lived like that. For four months to arrest. Then three more years and the stupid delay and court b.s. LIves were on hold through ALL of it and interrupted and stalled.
