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JONBENET RAMSEY: Found dead in Boulder, Colorado on Christmas Day 1996 - Age 6
- Thread starter GrandmaBear
- Start date
GrandmaBear
Deputized Emu Slayer/Horse Thief Hunter
For all the decades I have followed this case and then been off it and back to it and in how many places, I never knew these RDIs PDIs etc. lol. Thank you! I don't think I saw them even and just read the rest or skimmed by. New to me. I think.
In Michigan right? That's definitely odd. It isn't though all that unusual for people with no place to stay to break into vacation cabins and unoccupied homes in the states up here and live there or even steal from such. Fairly common and I'm talking average cabins and places and a nicer one even more likely. MN, WI, MI, not an uncommon thing. I have to worry about the same. I have an unoccupied home I can't be at all of the time and it is clear to people in the area it is unoccupied probably and so I have someone and myself pop in randomly, more so the other person, to make tracks, move a vehicle around and park one there, turn a different light on, grab the mail so it does not pile up and so on.
So to get back to this, so what is the thought? That the Michigan intruder had some fixation on Jon Benet and chose her room to stay in when he broke in? OR that this was someone the Ramseys knew they had around and around her and in their homes and her room? If the family had not been there for several months, how does that relate to her being found dead in their home in Boulder?
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I'm not following other than maybe it means they allowed untrustyworthy types in their homes? And around her? Or twas a breaking in stranger that left male clothing in her room and was living in their other home states away and so that relates to her demise in Boulder? I just don't see any correlation unless of course the family was involved and this was someone they let in there and in the home in Boulder and so on.
Thank you for all the definitions. Now that I know the I means "it" I may be able to guess if I see one and don't recall each one. Lol. Tresire had one recently I never knew it was somethign like some other dude did it or someone else did it. i am behind on these "it" things apparently.
GrandmaBear
Deputized Emu Slayer/Horse Thief Hunter
So she was killed in December of course but someone already knew the exact amount of the bonus? Where I work, totally different, but I just got my bonus i Feb. of this year, this month, my first, but I could easily guess what it would be by the end of Dec. as it is based off annual income and hours and a percentage. And I was about dead on.
Of course his type of bonus and firm is different but then if there is some formula and percentage, based on hours put in or income, somene else would have to know his earnings and production, and so on. if it is based on more than that or can vary based on other factors, a perp would have to know even more details to come up with the amount and know it. Or be family or an insider to the work place... OR of course heard John or Patsy share the amount known to them or expected...
Like many, kazillions of people, I have turned this case upside down and inside out through the decades many a time andf or me I come back to family, or close to home and the family knows. Some at least...
GrandmaBear
Deputized Emu Slayer/Horse Thief Hunter
Ahhh. So again though someone in their home, close to them or in the company and so forth to know that, see that, or even hear of it, it is someone in their world if not they themselves.
And if that's true, it is a known formula or percentage if it can show on each pay stub what they have earned towards a bonus.
A thrown away pay stub can be found even in a trash bin on the curb, etc. but that would have to be by some perp wanting to kill Jon Benet, break into their home or be able to enter easily and know the bonus amount because they found a paystub in the garbage plus wanted to kill their child which I find highly unlikely. BUT it does shoiw that again it is someone close most likely if not a family member more likely. Inner circle again or coworker and so on.
Our bonuses do not show on our paystub, so just asking if you are sure of this? However, I know the percentage each year and what it is based on to accurately guess mine. Nothing huge, not like where he worked but it goes up by quite a bit each year worked. It is not however tracked on the paystub. Also most businesses do not make bonuses required in case the year is bad or they decide they can't give one, they keep them discretionary rather than promised. Not all places. Ours is a you can count on it thing and the percentage BUT it is not put on the paystub.
GrandmaBear
Deputized Emu Slayer/Horse Thief Hunter
Yes I know those opinions and that frame of mind. And maybe even naivete one has until the real world changes it harshly.
it's like Disney princess and princes rescuing some damsel in distress or romance novels. yeah all fun, most raised on but wow that is not the real world or what one should expect.
Dress up and make up and looking like an adult is one thing at home and is natural just like wanting a play kitchen and so on and serving food. This though is different. She is out in public and it is not just playing, it takes hours upon hours of work and coaching for dancing, singing and being perfect and she was SIX. No one can tell me a child chooses this without influence. To be woke up and have to go and put hours in and have their hair bleached and done and makeup on and you name it.
A small child may on their own see TV or some such and say I want to be a movie star or I want to be Miss America, etc. of course but know the hours and commitment and classes and cotnrol that will put on their lives? No way are they choosing that. That is where parenting comes in.
Let a child be a child for goodness sakes. Give them every dressup thing and friends over and you name it in your own home. Let them have all the fun with it in the world. No one can convince me a six year old (and it started earlier than that) has some desire to be known in their world until somone gives them a push or a taste for it and the attention IF even then.
I remember being that age. Very well at the old age I am at now. Times may change but ages and where you are at in age doesn't.
Does any child really desire to skate all day after going to school to be an Olympic star when they are that age, or to be a beauty queen and so on. Yes, I imagine they are enthralled by what they see on TV with it and all that but do they really want the hours of work and no life to be a child and no parents at home that care other than that and so on? For it to consume their life and be hard and consume at least mom's life and so on?
A six year old (or five or four or three): I want to be president. Okay just get through kindergarten and we will send you off to Harvard first at six. I want to be a firefighter. Okay. Go to day care and after we will send you off with the firefighters if there's a fire tonight or we will start one so you can practice. i want to be Miss America. Okay. You need to learn to dance, sing, be perfect, spend hours every day keeping your hair perfect, getting it done, made up and your life in classes because you have to be the best to win. Do you want to give up your childhood? Oh yes mommy.
Ridiculous examples maybe but it is not the child who wants this or knows this at that YOUNG AGE. The PARENT wants it. The parent has the NEED. I don't care how much kids get exposed to too much at a younger age and seem more adult, she was a six year old CHILD. The brain and age is the same.
Having to be perfect, trained and do perfection in pageants and made up is nothing like playing dress up at home and being a child in their own home playing leisurely and having the time and fun to just play house and more at home as a child.
We all know there are many opinions on this case and it has been decades and all have been down every thought avenue and more. We all have our opinions. Millions do or our favored or narrowed down likelihood.
Of course part of the reason this case became so big is because she was a painted up made up adult looking little child beauty queen and blonde. And money and wealth. Etc.
The above alone is enough to cause notice to your child from some pedo or kidnapper and it is stupid to put your child out there in that way, brag about bonuses or antyhing else IF that is what happened. Naive as he77 at best.
But we all have our narrowed in thoughts through decades of this and mine, and others will vary as may yours, is Patsy did it, knew of it , was part of the coverup or some such. it is my opinion. I think John knows. Not sure about Burke. By now, he can probably put it together and wonder. And some think he did it. Possible. I don't favor that but possible and parents as we have seen in a few cases lately are going to cover for their messed up child's adult criminal acts.
All we know is what we know but Patsy liked to put on a facade of some perfect life, host and you name it but if you ask me things fell apart at home and behind the scenes, she was far from it. It is a ton of stress to maintain an image, have the perfect Christmas, host the parties, make your daughter a star out of your need, A need for image and a big home and you name it and a second wife wasn't it.... While in reality you have two kids, a hub often gone and laundry and even with a housekeeper and other image related things you never ever were an adult. Never on your own adulted. Stuck in pageant days.
I am surprised she wasn't one of those that bleached her own brunette constantly. Probably something she blamed on never being Miss America.
Sorry jmo. That soft southern act, holding hands, caring about her daughter and the loss allegedly... Nope. Don'\t buy it. In the alternative, John I can also wonder about. Never assume someone quieter is deep and decent...
Regardless putting JB on stage and making her up and bleaching and expecting perfection and insisting is not dress up at home like children love to do. Just like playing with baby dolls. Or Matchbox cars. Or play kitchens. It is not the same at all imo. No child should look like that at that age on a public stage flirting no less where all weirdos can see.
Kids put on play makeup at home or mommy's make up and they don't get it perfect. It's just fun.
Did this child even play ever with other girls at her home just for fun as a child? Never heard one thing that would lead me to believe she had that kind of freedom to be a child.
I don't get much free time to talk on cases and such and had a moment so yeah, old case, one we all know well and went on.
It is just my opinion. I have seen them all as we all have and why it bothers us all and we come back to them because the answers are not there and have not been found, were covered or too late.
Imo both Jon and Patsy know what happened to JB and by whom. Patsy went to her grave knowing. EVEN if one or the other or son did not do it, they knew at some point who and what and I beleive they did from the start. It was a cover up from the start.
Again it is jmo. This is one case that every opinion or imagined scenario is out there on and every rabbit hole gone down for decades. No one's opinions are unusual or theirs alone or have not been shared by others.
But yes, she was made up, expected to be perfect like some china doll rather than a child, put in lessons, under stress and put on a stage every day like some Barbie doll. Which by the way Idon't think much of either once I got past childhood and later years, nor do I think much of books that have if you kiss a toad he turns into your prince and happily ever after or some other b.s. fairy tales.
GrandmaBear
Deputized Emu Slayer/Horse Thief Hunter
So anyhow agreeing to disagree. Either way, the answer has never been found here nor justice resulted.
And certainly anything is possible but some things are more far fetched than others. There are some wild theories out there through the years Delphi was becoming the same and still is. That's I guess what happens when answers don't come.
And certainly anything is possible but some things are more far fetched than others. There are some wild theories out there through the years Delphi was becoming the same and still is. That's I guess what happens when answers don't come.
Sunburst
Well-known member
I am at work at lunch, will write more later. Charlevoix had a reputation for cottages and summer homes. I looked it up on realtor.com just to see. Currently there are about 20 homes for sale.
Most are what you would picture when you hear " summer place" 3-5 bedroom, couple of bathrooms, one story, kind of plain on the outside, with some landscaping but not ostentatious in any way. A few are more fancy: multistory and detailed. Prices range from about 250,000 to slightly over 2 million $$$ for the fancy ones.
IiRC, she competed in a few pageants in Charlevoix as well as Colorado. If PDI, I can picture JB telling her " I don't like pageants, Mommy. I don't want to do them any more. They are not fun." And P. loses it.
Most are what you would picture when you hear " summer place" 3-5 bedroom, couple of bathrooms, one story, kind of plain on the outside, with some landscaping but not ostentatious in any way. A few are more fancy: multistory and detailed. Prices range from about 250,000 to slightly over 2 million $$$ for the fancy ones.
IiRC, she competed in a few pageants in Charlevoix as well as Colorado. If PDI, I can picture JB telling her " I don't like pageants, Mommy. I don't want to do them any more. They are not fun." And P. loses it.
GrandmaBear
Deputized Emu Slayer/Horse Thief Hunter
I'd like to follow this line of thought. I am midwest. I know "summer homes" which to most locals mean not some hunting cabin but a summer place worth more than our homes by a long stretch, those of us who live here. In my state we get many who buy a summer home "up north" from Chicago, not natives. Or from the Twin Cities in MN. Of course if you go down to like Door County or any Great Lakes area you can also have such from any state buying these "summer" homes worth more than as I said many people's main home.
If I get time (unlikely as I have wasted half my rare day off) I will look it up but is Charlevoix in the UP? Somehow I doubt it and would guess it is in mid or southern MI. Been to MI three times? Maybe more? Throughout from north to south or south to north but not necessarily of course every corner east and west or every town or city of course. Just guessing since it is the Ramseys as to where it was....
I lean hard towards the family but I have explored and thought of every angle. Interested to hear more.
I do not think it is the child that really wants the pageants and I agree on that one. They may naively want the dress up and stuff until they live what that entailsa at such a young age. They aren't asking for a rigid perfect schedule and a lot of work and having to be perfect. No one can ever make me believe it is the child that wants or knows that is what will come.
P loses it as in Patsy or a pedo?
Patsy is my main thought in this case. I have looked at all and I come back to it every time as my highest percentage. Not conclusive of course but high up. Definitely a part or knowing of.
John referred to it as a "deferred" bonus and said the amount was on his 1996 check stubs.
(Btw, the amount wasn't precisely 118,000; sure, that's close enough but it's not exact.)
IIRC, she'd only been in about 6 pageants.
GrandmaBear
Deputized Emu Slayer/Horse Thief Hunter
Yeah, debatable on that one other than who would know. If bragged about, told, saw a pay stub, worked there, etc. No stranger would I'd say that's for sure other than stalking and digging in their garbage. To me, again it makes it close to home or in that circle of life or at work and so on or someone they told or bragged to. Even if they told or bragged it makes it someone they knew and talked to... No? To me that would be a pretty solid likelihood right there.
GrandmaBear
Deputized Emu Slayer/Horse Thief Hunter
That may not sound like many to you but it does to me for at that time a 6 year old child and younger of course before. I trust you as we all have over all these years with such a well know case have watched some of her pageants and even other performances. Wasn't there one like at the mall or some such once near Christimas where she danced, paraded and sang and didn't John miss it or something? Right there she was in front of strangers shopping and not just those that attend some child beauty pageant who are more apt to be noticed (if some creep comes or hangs around every time).
Back to he point though, that is a LOT, even six. And again it all started before she was six. I trust and am sure you like all who have ever followed this case at some point ahe seen all talk, all pageant videos, etc. and that is practicing and hard for how long for each pageant. Singing, dancing, walking, smiling, looking like the perfect doll and doing perfect. Training. Costumes. So on. Considering all that and the fact that before walking hopefully she wasn't in dance classes and stuck in pageants that's a LOT in those few short years she had imo. That's an entire life consumed by it imo and controlled.
Who knows what or who to believe and it has been awhile for me since I looked back at all and ended in rabbit holes (not here) a year or two ago but was't there a trainer or costume maker or instructor that talked of Patsy's temper, insistence on perfection and more and how hard on JB and so on?
And I recall some other statements from others as well. Of course that is hearsay so to speak but...
Back to your point, I think six pageants isn't an "only six" it is a LOT. The efforts put into each one at her age and how long to prepare? It was the whole life she was handed imo.
Jmo but I don't think JB chose this and no child does. Playing dress up maybe, having to get a job and do what mommy wants you to do and be perfect, made up, dolled up and paraded in public/ No I don't. I think much the same with child stars in Hollywood.
Jmo though. Interesting however to discuss it all. Been awhile on this one.
I don't know that they told anybody but I shared what I know of the info and the info is not that they bragged about it or threw away paystubs.
GrandmaBear
Deputized Emu Slayer/Horse Thief Hunter
I was going by what someone else said above and that it may have been talked of or bragged about like at a 4th of July party a the MI summer home.
I brought all bonus talk and info in recent posts into my thoughts and response.
As far as throwing away, just thinking of how a stranger or someone not one of them or close to family could know what was on the paystub or how they saw it.
So yeah, to me, it still has to be someone close or near or one of them in that respect, or someone they engaged with and saw regularly and so on.
I remember an interview with one of JonBenet's pageant friends and she expressed fond memories of JonBenet and of doing the pageants and of the doing the pageants with JonBenet. My understanding is that a lot of the same children participate in the different pageants and the audience consists of the participants family members.
Anyway, I said "only" about six because yeah, it was only six (lol!) but also, I think there could be the impression that she was always doing pageants- possibly because one event has several categories in which they wear different outfits- but in actual fact, she'd only done about two a year.
GrandmaBear
Deputized Emu Slayer/Horse Thief Hunter
And I guess I am just saying that I think two a year is a lot for all the practice, preparing, training, costumes and all they entail. I think two a year is a ton for a child that age.
I knew someone once that was teaching her child from a very young age, that seriously, she would be Miss America but that she had to do this and that and could not do this or that and I mean from preschool age. Prepping for ONE pageant from the day of birth almost. I would surmise youi can guess my thoughts or opinion on that. Do I know how the child grew up and turned out?? I do. Did i watch the child grow up and believe for a time she had to do it as she thought SHE had wanted to be Miss America? Yep. She wasn't my stepdaughter but you may as well have called her that as I was with her dad for five years. Her mother was something else. There was no play or fun. Everything was with a purpose and rigid. However mom did play... Mom played a lot when daughter dumped with dad and I. And she LOVED that she could play at our house and that rigidity and perfectionism wasn't present.
Anyhow, no, although trying to force that from an early age and ballet and a ton of other things, staying thin and watching how much she ate when a toddler almost (!), daughter never went into one pageant even locally and was rebeling by what age (I was long gone by then).
The kids don't choose it at that age. The parent does and tries to instill and make them think it is what THEY want and they know little of what it entails but they sure find out.
It is just my opinion of course. Does it mean P snapped or is a murderer? No. But I don't exclude that thought. Nor do I agree with parading a daughter in public like some made up sex kitten of an adult. We all see it as cute but pedos and other types see it otherwise.
I loved to watch pageants as a child but in later and adult years I developed a different view of them. Like the Miss America pageant for instance.
And again it is just my opinion and it is too bad all like normal people don't look at such in the way they should but there are a ton of creepy people out there. Today I wouldn't even post a picture of a clothed sleeping baby on FB. Just saying.
And again playing dress up at home is one thing. Daughter gets to use mommy's lipstick and ends up smearing it beyond her lips and her eyeshadow she gets uneven on both eyes. That is play, that is fun. Steps her little feet into mommy's high heels Fun. Dress up.
I don't see JB's life as anything like that nor the pageantry.
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GrandmaBear
Deputized Emu Slayer/Horse Thief Hunter
Yeah I would think anyone hanging at the small child pageants who wasn't family or known would stand out.
I do think or seem to recall as I said she had some mall or some such Christmas performance and I believe it was not long before her death. She was good, professional, singing and dancing or whatever, to me with an adult look at it. To a perv just the opposite imo. I said it earlier that I also think John couldn't make it or something... Anyhow, at something like that she'd be in front of random members of the public.
That's assuming it was some stranger/perv. I don't lean that way however. But who knows. if it was known this would be solved and there would be answers and justice.
Sunburst
Well-known member
I am thinking it was someone fixated on JB. Maybe he saw her at a pageant, or a mall, and became obsessed. Easy enough to find out they also lived in Colorado. Or if perp was in CO, could easily research John and his job, home address in CO, etc.
Charlevoix is in the UP of Michigan. The latest census lists about 3000 people total that live there now. Probably was even smaller in 1996.
Patsy apparently tried very hard to present the illusion of a perfect family to outsiders and many friends. No problems whatsoever- kids are perfectly behaved at all times, happy marriage, absolute storybook perfection to people. From what I have read, I think she was trying to relive her youth vicariously through JB. JB wanting none of it would send P. into a rage, because there would no longer be the illusion of Perfect Family.
Sunburst
Well-known member
I don't think the bonus was bragged about, just mentioned innocently in a comment at some sort of party. Picture it:
Fourth of July, neighbor is having a cookout. Men are gathered around the grill drinking beer while food cooks. Kids are playing while wives are in a group watching the kids out of corner of their eyes.
" How is Mark's business, Suzy? "Oh it's great! Company is doing well and we were shocked at his yearly bonus this year, it was way more than we thought!"
" Yeah, Jason's bonus was a lot too. We were able to gut the kitchen and completely remodel it, and add a 4th bathroom on the 3rd floor. Over 80,000 for everything. Thank goodness for the bonus! Hey Patsy, how is John's company doing?"
"Oh wonderfully,! He got a nice bonus of $118000. Of course we'll spend a chunk on the kids college funds and JB's pageants, haven't decided what to do with all of it yet."
Fourth of July, neighbor is having a cookout. Men are gathered around the grill drinking beer while food cooks. Kids are playing while wives are in a group watching the kids out of corner of their eyes.
" How is Mark's business, Suzy? "Oh it's great! Company is doing well and we were shocked at his yearly bonus this year, it was way more than we thought!"
" Yeah, Jason's bonus was a lot too. We were able to gut the kitchen and completely remodel it, and add a 4th bathroom on the 3rd floor. Over 80,000 for everything. Thank goodness for the bonus! Hey Patsy, how is John's company doing?"
"Oh wonderfully,! He got a nice bonus of $118000. Of course we'll spend a chunk on the kids college funds and JB's pageants, haven't decided what to do with all of it yet."
GrandmaBear
Deputized Emu Slayer/Horse Thief Hunter
So it is the UP. I thought so in the back of my head but then second guessed myself. Been through there several times. Used to be something maybe back in the day, pretty desolate in recent decades. Maybe there is a little more life off the main across MI like some real towns and businesses but man most of the way across are abandoned old motels faling apart no gas stations or anything for miles on end, etc. I don't know Charlevoix but I've been off the road to a couple of places, nothing very big. It wouldn't surprise me a bit if someone moved in or used "summer homes" or cabins in that area when owners weren't present/broke in. We have simiilar problems in my state and so on.
Of course in this case it could be something more than that of course. If a typical trespasser just looking for a place to say I don't seen him going to Colorado or even having money. BUT it would depend on who this was or why he was there in their home, knew them or not and so forth I guess.
I agree entirely with your last paragraph about Patsy. I don't like thinking or feeling that way but it is the way I see her. A perfectionist who likely is a tyrant behind scenes not realizing perfection is impossible. I think too she was living through JB. And a perfect image, family and marriage was of absolute necessity for her and here is NO SUCH THING.
I went into my adult life feeling kids should always be clean and taken care of, house should always be perfect, dinner made every night and strived for it while working with two small kids, etc. and I felt like a failure trying to maintain such. Comes from as I call it he Beaver Cleaver and Mother June image of the perfect family, what women are to be and manage. Of course June didn't work and Ward was a good behaving husband. That is not real life.
I fairly soon realized I had to let go of those standards I actually felt I was raised around and my mom'\s generation for instance had really ingrained in them. And my mom WORKED.
It was too stressful, there was never any time left for fun with the kids and so on. I kept it mostly up, cleaned every Saturday and caught up after the work week, did laundry etc. and had them help as they got older but on Sunday, we relaxed. I did let go though of ABSOLUTE perfection, every little thing dusted and that kind of thing. I do get it, I think most women understand it and I have sisters who have spent their entire lives older than I striving to always, always meet those standards. But not to the point of pageant children, hosting huge corporate or whatever Christmas parties, and so on and so on.
Patsy couldn't do the real image of this perfect and even "rich" life she envisioned. That kind of thing, no, it is not what I am talking about at all. Didn't she have tons of laundry everywhere and messes in the kitchen and so on and yet she HAD a housekeeper? And she did not work! I of course am not sayig raising children and running a house isn't work. I think before anyone claims otherwise it is known what I mean.
I watch her as we all have who have followed this case through decades and redived into it many a time and she comes across as so sweet and southern (nothing wrong with that at all) but it is all fake to me. I am not dissing southerners, many come across just the opposite to me. Totally. She doesn't. She was taught it, plays it and does it well but it doesn't ring true. She learned it. She did it herself in pageant life and such I'm sure but it doesn't ring true.
Personally I can entertain the pedo thing and stranger but I really don't lean that way. I think Patsy lost it and that it is that simple and then it went to cover up mode. That is my MAIN thought. I don't think anything was as good at home as they wanted to portray. Or she did. By a long shot. I don't even think she meant it, certainly did not plan to most likely. Every time I think of this case I think of the mommy dearest thing. I can't help it. I think she was one face or tried to be in public and an entirely different person at home. I think she bought into fairy tales and princes and John wasn't one and children do not magically stay clean, keep the house clean and never pee the bed. Or stay quiet, behave perfectly or are these perfect children who need no care from the time you pop them out.
I don't like to diss who could well be innocent and victim's family member but I do think if it was not a family member then the life and stage she put this child on played in, etc.
I've gone down every rabbit hole and am guessing you have and your MI rabbit hole is interesting and I will go there. I do always come back to smoke cleared though the likelihood is family and most particulary Patsy.
She was in their own home. It was her notepad. Likely her handwriting Such a weird letter with bonus amounts. Almost should I say it, overly dramatic... Which seems to me to fit her... She has the perfect life and fantasy in her head and cannot achieve it. It isn't what she thought it should be... It's called hard knocks, growing up and finding out you are naive and life just ain't that easy.
Or... I've also seen people jealous of their own child and especially as they get older even in their 20s. 30s. Beyond.
Anyhow, to quit going on, there is something wrong there and as detectives put it etc., I've never left the home. No reason to branch out and look outside the home as I can't clear those in it so to speak... Not that all shouldn't be looked at of course but that nothing to this day after all these years has cleared the family for me.
Anyhow I agree on her and maybe even go beyond on her. That's my opinion and take on it. I've went back and through all theories, shows and so many things, claims of new evidence, the DNA claims and you name it and I end up back in the same place. Every time.
I love Regina but I don't agree this was just like dress up. This was putting a child to work imo and wanting perfection. Status. Etc. My God we are lucky if our children don't have to face something they should never have to face and get a childhood that is at least partially carefree, why put such more on them at such an age.
Anyhow clearly lol I don't get enough time to do cases and talk. I think Patsy was a fraud. She had a public face and a private one. I don't think she wanted it that way but she had wrong expections and priorities and could not handle that they didn't all come about and life wasn't perfect even with a housekeeper, money, etc. That children pee, get snotty noses, maybe break things or make a mess and have to be fed and so on.
Of course I could be wrong but that's how I see it. And I don't think John was always home or it was the perfect marriage either. I think after both for all the intensity put on them may have grown up and had to and did. Perhaps...They were in the public eye even years later if not every day often enough and any misstep would be an issue or make news.
I don't even remember what all I've said here lol but this is where I lean and always come back to. It was in the inner circle/family imo. I can go with and have and will explore any other theory but I am pretty sure I will end up back at that. Jmo.